The End of the Fairy Tale...
79 days in total
The tears wouldn't stop flowing
Re-reading through his emails and smses...
The promises, the sweet-words...
Tears flowed in buckets
I thought there should be resentment
I thought there should be anger
Hatred?
Can't i see the irony of it all?
Am i so blinded by this thing called LOVE?!
No, there aren't...
Just sadness... sadness that;s so enormous,
Enveloping my whole world...
For... when he said or typed those words
I know he really meant it
At that time, in that place
His love just could not withstand
the test of time. nor space...
He just didn't love me enough
Well. what would u expect?
What can u offer?
Why should he love you?
U know u are not lovable
U know this at a very young age
U did such a great job of protecting yourself
From hurt, from tears
Until u decided to take a gamble
to believe in this thing called love
to believe in this man who would give u happiness
While he successfully detaches himself
U sank deeper and deeper...
U took a gamble,
Friends warned u against it
u are playing with fire
U lost... u got burnt...
Now your self-esteem is yet again in the doldrums,
But u are holding a party
for the kids
you must smile n look happy
although u are bleeding inside...
shed tears only when u are alone
do not mix the professional with the personal
he didn't... he has the makings of a businessman
rhe traits.... yah?
I know he's busy
i know he's having a tough time
I tried to help
but yet i'm so helpless
what can i do?
i can only listen to his grouses,
act as his alarm clock
remind him to take care of himself
He's tired... he had v little sleep everyday...
Neither did i...of cos he's too busy to be aware...
What have i been doing this whole month
how long have i been sleeping everyday?
4 hours? panda eyes as evidence...
my workstation is filled
with photos,
scraps of papers... his scrapbook in progress
i'm running out of time, muz complete by june hols
minus the 2 weeks i'm away from s'pore
muz give him after his 8 weeks of RT training
a reward if he pass
a reassurance if he didn't make it
i'm not going to love him any lesser....
The birthday present... for his mother(Cecilia Shin)...
only left with 2 weeks,.. no 1 week
cos next week will be busy with rehearsals...
can only do it in secret...
cos my mum dun even get such a gift
Hours wasted? no, cos it brought me much joy
and more to see the smile on his face, i thought
alas! it was not meant to be
well, at least... no more deadlines to keep.
a guy would never let u go
if he truly loves u
no wonder he seemed relieved
when i cooked up story of mr rgs
he could not wait to shake his hands off me
he's just being kind...
he just doesn't have the heart to tell me straight in the face.
He didn't ask me to wait for him...
i would have waited...
i didn't need his company everyday
just a good morning n goodnite...
just to share all good n bad news with him...
until he's more settled...
until we know each other better
then shall we decide...
just let me be here for him...
i won't want to let him walk this difficult path alone
i;ll be here to support him
thanks but no thanks
he didn't need you.Be thankful girl, be thankful
u have so much in ur life to be thankful about
at least he did not toy with ur feelings
and u have the memories
u lost someone who didn't love u
he lost someone who loves him
who's worse off?
his ex gfs are all very pretty
i can't compare, i'm the ugliest of them all
but i thought...
well it's pointless to think too much...
Bear Bear, rest in peace
the hero who brought me much joy n laughter
who once pledged to protect a princess when he returns
be her bodyguard
he's big n strong.
nobody dares to bully her again....
alas...
i will miss you bear bear...
help pray for me can?
that i will heal... faster faster...
sorry for disturbing u so much
for all the trouble i gave u
Thank you bear bear... thank you...The alarm rang... 6am... time to go to school
students, please understand
ur teacher had a sleepless n traumatising night...
i may break down in front of you...
pls use ur innocence n make me laugh
please please... bring some sun into my life...
i need it so desperately...
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